DuDUDuRa大風雲

i still have less hope to my future.

and everything you have done sometimes  hurt me in some way.

i have no paitence. i have no enough paitence as you have.

you drives me crazy more than once, in good ways, meanwhile, in bad ways.

they are tortures indeed.

i try to be understanding; i try to be possitive; i tried and i fell

how delicate i am!  shame on it. 

have you ever seen manga called the deep dark fears?

there is a picture: a gril said i love him so much that i want to live inside him

i can feel the same as she does.

i am in security shortage.

i can hear my veins shouting out the need and begging you to put more attention on me.

i feel insecurity. 

i feel insecurity when i got no reply.

i feel insecurity when i wanted to say sth but i got nothing to say.

i feel anxious about myself that i sometimes want you go away. as far as you can.

i know a bit about you. 

but maybe that is not the point. 

i want to grab you in my hand but what can i do if i really do so?

that doesn't make me happy.

i have told you in my first letter. i will let everyone down nomatter how possitive he/she is.  it is predicatble to our future, if i can't be a better on.

i feel so tired facing the truth, facing the world, facing you, and facing my families, 

i try to disguise myself but it appeartely confuse me more.

i try to tell  unnecessary lies to keep unseen trobles away.

i try to hide but here stands a different me now that i cant say i have no strength.

i am so confused even i have some routines to rely on.

i dont want to talk 

i, actually, dont know how to talk and why i should  talk.

NOTHING HAPPENED.

EVERYTHING IS ME. I AM SO WEAK THAT EVEN I KNOW I HAVE TROUBLES I COULDN'T FIND MYSELF A WAY TO GET THROUGH.

EVEN I KNOW they ARE OLD PROBLEMS. EVEN I KNOW THE BEST SOLUTION IS TO FACE AND THEN FINISH THEM.

FUCK THE WORLD!

FUCK ME!!!!